My Own Little World
by AutumnMoon123
Summary: What would Sakura do after Li died? Go completely insane, or use what sanity she has left to create her own little world, where he is still alive?


This fic is kind of a short story. I wrote for English class and I wasn't able to put it into detail. I didn't like my LA teacher or the mark I got on the story. I hope you people will enjoy it a lot more than she did. Well enjoy My Own Little World!

Disclaimer: I don't own Card Captor Sakura or its characters. But I will own the twelve graphic novels that are out…. Someday..

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**Sakura's POV:**

It's been five years since he's been gone. Yes it will be five years tomorrow. Because it is the day before our birthday. It would have been sixteen this year, for the both of us. On May 31st Li Syaoran died by drowning to death. I couldn't save him. Not then, not now. We had been friends since we were born. No one will ever understand how devastated I was on that day. Some say it was suicide, others said he was pushed by town bullies. Only some spoke of the truth. His mother was drunk, she and his father had just separated. Sure Syaoran was sad, but not so much that he couldn't handle life anymore. His mother thought he would never recover. So she carried him to the beach and threw him into the ocean. She knew that he couldn't swim, even though we played on that beach every day. He never got too close to the water because he knew what would happen.

I was traumatized by his death. I couldn't live without him. So I created my own escape. I made a realm in the back of my mind that only I could go to. It sounds very childish, but it took all the sanity that I had left to make this dimension. In my own little world Syaoran is still alive and we are still just little, back when we could just stay outside all day and play. When Syaoran's parents were still together and happy, and the town was in peace. Back when we would skip rocks on the surface of the crystal clear water. Before he left me in this hellhole we call Earth. To when I was sane.

However I still go to the beach when I have spare time. My father passed a year ago so my mother has now too tried to find the answers at the bottom of the bottle. Whenever I come home she is usually drunk, either in alcohol or in self-sorrow. I try to avoid her when she is drunk because all she does is yell at me. So I just run up to my room, lay on my bed, and go to my world. But today I go to the beach. To remember Syaorans' death. I bring flowers and wear my nicest dress. Just for him. My only love.

No one is ever at the beach at this time of night. Well sometimes there is the odd couple making out or something, but everyone in the town leaves the beach to Syaorans' closet friends and family on this day. His grave is in the cemetery, but people still leave flowers and gifts on the beach. I can't stand the cemetery, I even skipped out on my own fathers funeral. I can't explain why I don't like that place. But anyway the beach was empty. The other visitors already came and left. After he was gone for one year, and the first time there was a memorial at the beach, I went with Syaoran's mother to remember the day he "left this world". During the service his mother kept cursing that the real killers would come forward and emit to the terrible thing that they had done, to not only her, but to everyone who knew Syaoran. Which would be the whole town, since it's so small. Some people there knew the truth but wont speak up. They could have used their voice to show what a fraud his mother was. No one spoke. I didn't either so I share the blame. So everyone goes on and plays their own roles. I placed my arrangement of flowers by the other gifts. I didn't stay for long because I knew I would start crying. Plus it was almost my curfew. I knew if I got home late that my mother would hurt me. Like she always does when she is drunk. Then I would have to go into town and show off the trophy that my mother had given me. But, if I take the back alleyway then none of this would happen. However, only creepy guys and thugs stayed in the alley. It was my only choice…

I stood in front of the alleyway. I took a deep breath and entered. After a few steps I gave myself fake confidence, every thing would be okay. But I believed too soon. A group of creepy guys were in a circle, probably smoking or drinking, possible using drugs. I walked passed them avoiding eye contact with them. One gave a flirting whistle, and the others gave their bits on what they thought of me.

"Wow, what a babe!"

"Total hottie."

"I want some of that, let's get her!" After I heard that I started running. I hoped they wouldn't catch up. I heard footsteps closing in on me, I could be raped and possibly murdered. One of them grabbed my arm and pulled me towards them. My eyes started to water, but I couldn't show weakness so I held them back.

"Let's get a real good look at you. Hmm, thin, tall, and incredibly cute! You'll be perfect for our little collection!" I shook my head, and for the first time my eyes met his. They had a horrid look in them, of want and lust. I would never let myself be given to this guy. I was Syaorans and only Syaorans. I wanted to give myself to Syaoran, but he left before I could tell him that I loved him. I punched the guy in the nose and then sacked him. I won't go to him, or not without a fight. His nose started bleeding, and the next guy came for a piece of me. I would have to take all of them on, but could I last that long? Probably not. For the next guy I gave him an elbow to the gut and fist to the head. He fell to the ground. Yes! Two down! The next pair were smarter than that. One grabbed me from behind and the other was deciding what to do. Do me now, or take me to their hide out and do me there. Whatever they had planed I would never allow it. The creep started going for my shirt. As soon as he got close enough I went to kick him, but he grabbed my leg and pulled it to his waist. He was smarter than I thought. Using my leg as if a rope, he came closer. I smirked, and within a second, bit his shoulder. He yelped in pain. It was the first time I tasted blood, and I hoped it was my last. Blood tasted gross! The second guy brought me to the ground. Finally someone did something smart! Wait, I wasn't enjoying this was I? No time to think, just act! He had my legs and my arms pined. This was tricky. I brought my head up and his met mine. I got dizzy using my head like that, but I was free. The others ran off, not as brave as the others before them. I left the scene and headed for my house.

When I got to the house I could hear the T.V. blaring, even though I was outside. She must be drunk, and hopefully asleep. I went in as quietly as I could. It was easy since she left the door unlocked. I got a chance to look in the mirror, only to find a cut across my cheek. I must have gotten it during the fight. Loud heavy footsteps came up behind me and from that I could tell my mother was drunk. She gave out a big heavy sigh. Her breath also gave a strong hint of wine or something.

"Why the hell are you home so late?" I looked at the clock, five minutes to curfew.

"I'm home on time mother. Please it's late, go up to bed and get some sleep."

"I won't have my teenage daughter tell me what to do! Since you're so lonely since your father died, maybe I should do to you like Mrs. Syaoran did to Li, hmm? I would get rid of my last problem. I would join you shortly, though. We could all be one happy family again. Wouldn't that be nice?" I hated when she spoke like this. To get rid of me? Her only child? She didn't have the guts. I started to go up to my room when mothers voice stopped me.

"Where the hell are ya goin? Ya think ya can run aways from me? Gets you asses down here and cook me supper. Only thing you _can_ do anyways."

"I'm going to bed, and like hell your going to stop me! Make yourself something yourself you useless bag!" I knew I could say these things because she would forget them in the morning. So I ran up the stairs into my bedroom and shut the door. I 'm going to my world now.

It became morning. I awoke to see Li.

"Happy birthday Sakura."

"Same to you, wait are we older than we usually are?"

"Yes, because it is our birthday and we are another year older."

"No, I mean yes, but we would be eight today here, but it looks like we are sixteen."

"Yes, I altered our age and appearance. This would be what I would look like if I were still with you." I smiled. With me. I have to tell him now, he may not be real, but it's as close to him as I will ever get.

"Li I…. I well, umm…"

"Yes?" He gave me one of those looks that you could never refuse. God why did he have to be so hot?

"I love you." He blushed, then smiled.

"I love you too." I knew he would return the feelings.

"I can't stay for too long, I said some mean things to my mother and I need to go apologize."

"Yes, I heard. However, she said some pretty nasty things to you too, am I wrong?"

"No you're right. Of course, you're never wrong! But still, I will feel better if I say that I'm sorry. But she won't remember what I said or what she said, so saying sorry **_is_** really pointless…" Damn, he did it again.

"So why not just stay? You'll have a better time with me anyway." God how he knew he was right.

"I know, but this day also belongs to my mother. You know she never drinks on our birthday. She gave birth to me so I feel like I owe her. You know."

"I understand. But come back to me soon. Understood" That wasn't like him.. Oh well, he has changed since he's now sixteen and all.

"Sure, I'll come back real soon." And so I left him.

At home I went down stairs to meet mother. She was dressed decently and had a box wrapped in a colourful paper in her hand.

"Happy Birthday darling." I gave her a weak smile remembering what had happened the night before. "I got you a little something but it isn't much…" She handed me the box and I opened it slowly. It contained a small doll in the shape of a tiger, a stuffed animal. I gave her a smile, trying to hide that I was too old for these toys. But it must have taken her a lot of … well a lot of something to get her out of the house and buy me the doll.

"Thanks mom, it's lovely."

"I thought that you were maybe too old for stuffed animals, but since you like cats and all I thought you would like it."

"Ya mom it's great." I hid my disappointment.

"Well happy birthday my little…ur umm…"

"Sixteen year old.." I finished her sentence.

"Ya, I knew that.." I shook my head and ran back upstairs, not looking back.

"Wait! I can make it better! All I need I time!"

"No mom! You had enough time! No more chances, no more time, no more making things better! I had enough!"

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To see Syaoran!"

"No you can't kill yourself!" My mother started crying.

"I'm not! You know nothing about me!"

I stormed out of the house and to the beach. I knew I would see Syaoran there.

"I hate my life…"

"Then stay with me! I can make all your troubles disappear! Like your mother and all the people in this town but you and me."

"You're crazy. Sure you can change time, but make others disappear? Come on Syaoran! I'm not two any more!"

"I know. I never meant it that way." He gave me such a loving look that I melted. We gazed into each others eyes as he came closer to me. Gently, his lips touched mine, and we shared a passionate kiss. Our first kiss. I wished I could have frozen time and stayed in that moment forever. Unfortunately I needed air, so we detached from each other.

"Wow" I said, " That was wonderful…"

"Ya, a true symbol of love.." I looked at him.

"What do you mean? A child is a true symbol of love."

"If it was meant to be made."

"True."

"Now will you stay with me?"

"Yes," I said without thinking, "Yes Syaoran, I will stay with you. But I have to go back and say good bye."

"You can't, you're mine now."

"I have to tell my mother. Then I'll come back and stay with you. I promise."

"Fine, but be back soon!"

"I promise." I left him for the last time.

I walked out of my room and into the living room. My mom was sitting in the single chair.

"Mom, I have to tell you something."

"My lovely daughter! You came out! You must truly love me!" She embraced me n a hug, the first one since dad died.

"No mom, I am leaving soon."

"What? No! I won't let you!" That's when I told her about my little world. Her eyes widened.

"How could you create such a thing?"

"I don't know, here Syaoran is dead, but there he walks with me. It's so wonderful! So I have decided to stay with him."

"You choose a dead friend over your own mother?"

"Yes."

"Then go."

"Mother, there are some things you have to know before I go."

"What?"

"You cannot disturb my body. Don't feed me, change me, or move me, got it?"

"Fine."

"I'll be gone like you wished." I left to go to my room.

"When did I…?" Too late, I left her world.

I greeted Syaoran with a warm smile.

"So everything set?"

"Sure is. I'm yours forever."

It only took my stomach five months for it to get it as big as it did. I was now carrying Syaorans' child. I was no longer a virgin and after my first time I became pregnant. I child that is planned is a true symbol of love.

"Good morning baby."

"What about me?" I gave Syaoran my best pouting lip.

"You to beautiful."

"You're too kind."

"How many do you think we are having? Your stomach being so big and all."

"Only one. I hope. Oh God what happens if it's like eight! God that would be horrible!"

"I don't think there are that many in there. Relax!"

"Syaoran. Who's going to deliver my baby!"

"Good question! I'll make a doctor on the day it comes. I have it under control!"

"You better or I'll hurt you!"

"No! Not the wrath of an expecting mother!" We both started to laugh. But not for long.

"Sakura, did you cut yourself on something?"

"No why?"

"You're bleeding! Badly!" I looked down. My chest was covered in red blood.

"Syaoran….. I ……. I feel weak…"

"Hold on Sakura! I can't lose you!"

"Now we can be together… in…… in heaven…" I smile weakly and gave into death. In heaven I met Syaoran and we lived together.

**Normal POV (Real World):**

Sakura's mother stood over her bed. Slowly she removed the knife from her daughters chest.

"If I can't have you no one can!" She started to cry, realizing now she was alone. She decided to punish herself by living her life until she died of old age, or disease. To live alone and never remarry or have children. To live her life in her own little world.

**_The End_**


End file.
